手機(jī)版
1. Declarations of love that don't ever need to declared: “I love my daughter sooo much.”
沒(méi)必要的愛(ài)的宣告：“我好愛(ài)我的女兒啊。”
Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, “I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but he's a little bastard and I'm sick of him.” Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent he was.
分析：這些人是不是覺(jué)得非得讓別人知道自己有多喜歡誰(shuí)，他們可能覺(jué)得堅(jiān)守這份愛(ài)有些苦悶，你倒是告訴你愛(ài)的人啊，滿世界嚷嚷算什么意思�。坑幸淮挝业呐笥寻l(fā)了這樣一篇：“我討厭我孩子，如果讓你不爽我很抱歉，但他真的是個(gè)小混蛋，我太討厭他了。”很明顯他開(kāi)個(gè)玩笑罷了，不過(guò)141個(gè)家伙在下面留言說(shuō)他實(shí)在是個(gè)不稱職的父親……
2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!”
普普通通的生活細(xì)節(jié)，非要當(dāng)成里程碑一樣的大事：“去吃了晚飯，還看了電影�。�！”
Analysis: A very boring life.
分析：這樣的日子真無(wú)聊。
3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today "
發(fā)身體情況的細(xì)節(jié)，還要加個(gè)表情符號(hào)證實(shí)自己說(shuō)的沒(méi)錯(cuò)：“今天感覺(jué)病怏怏的:(”
Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.
分析：這人也被無(wú)聊逼的，和朋友玩文字游戲你都不夠格，你這個(gè)蠢貨。
4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they've been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”
情緒激動(dòng)的怒罵，看似不針對(duì)某人，其實(shí)大家都知道他倆完了：“永遠(yuǎn)別相信一個(gè)說(shuō)6點(diǎn)鐘來(lái)接你，結(jié)果讓你苦等了1個(gè)小時(shí)的家伙。有些人永遠(yuǎn)不知道戀愛(ài)里什么才叫成熟，也許他們活該被甩。”
Analysis: Well, they can't really give the person's name or address them directly. That would be too honest.
分析：咳，這人就是不指名道姓，也不當(dāng)著對(duì)方的面直接說(shuō)。那樣有點(diǎn)兒太過(guò)誠(chéng)實(shí)了。
5. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.
一盤(pán)擺在面前普普通通的菜
Analysis: "I'm eating. You have to see what I'm eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.
分析：“我在吃飯噠，你要看我在吃嬸Mua!”沒(méi)準(zhǔn)餐館里的真貨要比你拍的還好看些。
6. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.”
生活很美好之類的感人宣告：“我愛(ài)當(dāng)下的生活。”
Analysis: Life is not good.
分析：日子過(guò)得不好才會(huì)這么說(shuō)。
7. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”
對(duì)神的感人告白：“能過(guò)得這么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都?xì)w于上帝。若將上帝作為你唯一救星，你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)悲哀。”
Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.
分析：如果你信宗教就多花點(diǎn)時(shí)間去教堂，花少點(diǎn)時(shí)間在Facebook上。
8. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn't get back in my car. Hahaha.”
憋個(gè)段子寫(xiě)些稀松平常的事情：“停車加油，又等了一個(gè)小時(shí)拿到處方。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我把車鑰匙丟了，現(xiàn)在車也進(jìn)不去。哈哈哈。”
Analysis: “It's funny, right? Please say it's funny.”
分析：“好笑嗎，嗯？請(qǐng)你告訴我哪好笑。”
9. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”
不管什么都扯上政治：“為什么教會(huì)要為流產(chǎn)買單？奧巴馬作為總統(tǒng)爛透了，簡(jiǎn)直是恐怖分子。”
Analysis: I don't know. I hate politics.
分析：其實(shí)我什么都不懂，我只是討厭政治。
10. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!”
見(jiàn)到人特別興奮：“OMG，我迫不及待要見(jiàn)到Lesley、還有Jaime還有Kelly�。�”
Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy.
分析：膚淺是治療精力過(guò)剩的良藥。
沒(méi)必要的愛(ài)的宣告：“我好愛(ài)我的女兒啊。”
Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, “I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but he's a little bastard and I'm sick of him.” Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent he was.
分析：這些人是不是覺(jué)得非得讓別人知道自己有多喜歡誰(shuí)，他們可能覺(jué)得堅(jiān)守這份愛(ài)有些苦悶，你倒是告訴你愛(ài)的人啊，滿世界嚷嚷算什么意思�。坑幸淮挝业呐笥寻l(fā)了這樣一篇：“我討厭我孩子，如果讓你不爽我很抱歉，但他真的是個(gè)小混蛋，我太討厭他了。”很明顯他開(kāi)個(gè)玩笑罷了，不過(guò)141個(gè)家伙在下面留言說(shuō)他實(shí)在是個(gè)不稱職的父親……
2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!”
普普通通的生活細(xì)節(jié)，非要當(dāng)成里程碑一樣的大事：“去吃了晚飯，還看了電影�。�！”
Analysis: A very boring life.
分析：這樣的日子真無(wú)聊。
3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today "
發(fā)身體情況的細(xì)節(jié)，還要加個(gè)表情符號(hào)證實(shí)自己說(shuō)的沒(méi)錯(cuò)：“今天感覺(jué)病怏怏的:(”
Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.
分析：這人也被無(wú)聊逼的，和朋友玩文字游戲你都不夠格，你這個(gè)蠢貨。
4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they've been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”
情緒激動(dòng)的怒罵，看似不針對(duì)某人，其實(shí)大家都知道他倆完了：“永遠(yuǎn)別相信一個(gè)說(shuō)6點(diǎn)鐘來(lái)接你，結(jié)果讓你苦等了1個(gè)小時(shí)的家伙。有些人永遠(yuǎn)不知道戀愛(ài)里什么才叫成熟，也許他們活該被甩。”
Analysis: Well, they can't really give the person's name or address them directly. That would be too honest.
分析：咳，這人就是不指名道姓，也不當(dāng)著對(duì)方的面直接說(shuō)。那樣有點(diǎn)兒太過(guò)誠(chéng)實(shí)了。
5. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.
一盤(pán)擺在面前普普通通的菜
Analysis: "I'm eating. You have to see what I'm eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.
分析：“我在吃飯噠，你要看我在吃嬸Mua!”沒(méi)準(zhǔn)餐館里的真貨要比你拍的還好看些。
6. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.”
生活很美好之類的感人宣告：“我愛(ài)當(dāng)下的生活。”
Analysis: Life is not good.
分析：日子過(guò)得不好才會(huì)這么說(shuō)。
7. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”
對(duì)神的感人告白：“能過(guò)得這么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都?xì)w于上帝。若將上帝作為你唯一救星，你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)悲哀。”
Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.
分析：如果你信宗教就多花點(diǎn)時(shí)間去教堂，花少點(diǎn)時(shí)間在Facebook上。
8. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn't get back in my car. Hahaha.”
憋個(gè)段子寫(xiě)些稀松平常的事情：“停車加油，又等了一個(gè)小時(shí)拿到處方。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我把車鑰匙丟了，現(xiàn)在車也進(jìn)不去。哈哈哈。”
Analysis: “It's funny, right? Please say it's funny.”
分析：“好笑嗎，嗯？請(qǐng)你告訴我哪好笑。”
9. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”
不管什么都扯上政治：“為什么教會(huì)要為流產(chǎn)買單？奧巴馬作為總統(tǒng)爛透了，簡(jiǎn)直是恐怖分子。”
Analysis: I don't know. I hate politics.
分析：其實(shí)我什么都不懂，我只是討厭政治。
10. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!”
見(jiàn)到人特別興奮：“OMG，我迫不及待要見(jiàn)到Lesley、還有Jaime還有Kelly�。�”
Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy.
分析：膚淺是治療精力過(guò)剩的良藥。
